rendanghitam

Selamat tinggal rumahku

2011-07-14T20:47:00.000-07:00

This is the last entry. I'm very sad because I'm missing him, my late beloved brother. Insya'Allah, I will create new blog, named as MyloveHajiIshakclan.blogspot.com. Alhamdulillah, Allah gives an opportunity to use my last call (talian hayat). Maafkan saya jika sepanjang blog ini ditulis, pembaca terguris dengan saya. Saya juga harap apa yang baik dapat dikongsi, yang buruk dapat tolong maafkan dan doakan saya sentiasa dalam hidayahNya. Mungkin ini sebagai peringatan bagi saya bahawa takdir Allah mengatasi kemampuan kita dan sesungguhnya percaya pada Qada' dan Qadar Allah itu adalah benar.

Lastly, Selamat tinggal rumahku rendanghitam.blogspot.com

Ummi's milk 2

2011-06-08T21:30:00.001-07:00

After browsing some blogs, journals etcs from the other mums, I noticed that the childcare system in Malaysia is still not safe for baby and toddler.

At the nursery, it is true the number of staff is more than one baby sitter. However, it is not fully satisfied me that all of them is fully occupied with knowledge and good in practice nursing our children. I had my experienced with them before. Sometimes, I just ignored somethings which were not satisfied me. For example, I'd told them that my baby don't really need the swing to sleep, however they refused my notice. So, everyday I drove to the nursery 3 times with some reasons;
-to breastfeed Ammar whilst spying the staff. I witnessed the unexpected tragedy like broken swing(baby felt down and loudly screamed). And of course the parent was not been told( since no receipt of accident). All the babies and todds were feeding with solid food using same spoon and bowl, so now wonder how fast the flu, fever spread around them. Sometimes, the same towel was used for the babies. I was surprised because I often put a clean towel everyday in Ammar's bag. So, what is our duty for these thingy.

At the baby sitter house
- I don't really sure about this. But I'm fully believe the system is similar at the nursery but one lady has to take care a few children with some help from her own children and spouse.

Wahai ibu and ayah kat luar sana, kita perlu analyse semua benda nie balik.

Ummi's milk

2011-06-01T00:29:00.000-07:00

I started breastfeed my baby last ten years ago. Ummphh...In 2001, breastfeeding was still not such a common task among mum in this country. However, I determined that my baby will only have my milk ..and no formula is allowed in their daily meal up to 6 months. After age of 6 months, I gave Ammar some puree foods like mix fruits, fish, meat and rice. As usual people, will keep asking one big question....
"badan kurus...ada susu ke?
"banyak ke air susu?

Well, I can't answer their question in a solid words. But, Ammar's body and his health answered them all. Ammar had his first fewer when he was one year and three months. He grew well with his weight at about 7 kg when he was 4 months old, and then his weight increased fast until he stopped breastfeed at 4 years old.

Similar routine, I applied to Farhan and I can claimed both boys have such a beautiful life with my milk nurturing them. I even breastfed two boys at one time and I enjoyed it much.

Now, Sufi has all the milk from me. And her growth does amazed me. She is such a happy sweet girl. Yeah, she started to crawl now with her age is only 4 months old. Can share me with her brothers. Of course, I usually let her sticking on my milk whilst helping her brothers with their homework. thanks to my pink pouch which assist me well in this multitasking job.

So, the moral of this entry...don't giving up your honour of milking your baby. Don't be stress thus it may reduce your milk production. Alhamdulillah, I can pump my milk up to 4 times a day with 10 oz(300 ml) in one session, hence I have my milk storage at least 200 oz everyday(accumulated from last two weeks storage).
Don't underestimate yourself....kurus x semestinya x ada susu. Pray to Allah and believe yourself. Yes I can!!!

Till next entry...since I have to pump my milk now before it burst...

Kasih suami dan ayah

2011-05-25T07:20:00.000-07:00

Saya amat rasa terharu dgn Bersamamu mlm ini. Seorang bapa dan 2 anak lelaki hidup miskin. Anak pakcik ini nampak baik dan mendengar kata. Mungkin ini nikmat Allah bagi pada mereka kerana redha dan yakin dengan kuasa Allah. Saya mahu anak2 saya merasa apa yang saya rasa. Mereka amat bertuah hidup senang dan ini buat saya risau. Pakcik ini bagi saya amat cinta dan sayangkan arwah isterinya. Semua buat saya amat bersyukur menonton bersamamu malam ini. Suami saya nampak biasa aje. Doa saya, pak cik dan anak2 ini dapat hidup lebih baik kerana mereka buat saya sedar tentang kasih sayang.

My precious children

2011-05-18T21:24:00.000-07:00

My life is full of colours after my daughter was born. Day and night is complementing each other with so many things in mind and on going. The boys are growing up so fast with myself still prefer them to keep cute and small. My husband is trying to some effort to gain a more professional part of his work title. So, its only me have to cope with my task as a multitasking mum. To keep our family bond with full of love and responsibility, we decided,either me or my husband must alternately manage the kids and the households. Thus, putting our life as a traveling family almost every weekend. Every two weeks, my husband will doing his off campus lecturing in Kuala Lumpur. In addition, he will also required to establish his research work. As an advantage, he can bring his family along and keep us safe in at least 3 star hotel. So, I will occupy my time with the kids around the hotel like swimming, playing and etc. Don't be surprised, I'm now carrying my DSLR which nearly turn into tukun lipas after returned back from England. I believe I have improved my skill of photography including indoor and outdoor photoshot. I've done my correction and waiting an approval from the examiner. Hence, I have more time starting new research and get my skill of teaching. Till new entry, pls enjoy the pictures of my kids.

7 years + 1 day = 21 January 2011

2011-02-25T01:15:00.000-08:00

This confinement is such a new experience for me. My mum was already back to her house last three weeks ago, which means I have to do so many thing. Yup, RNM is always with me. He is the one who prepare my breakfast, lunch and dinner, prepare my air mandi(akar kayu). He is also sends and picks the boys to and from the school. I only do my routine like bertungku (morning and evening), bertangas, breastfeed fifi, do the EBM (nak penuh dah storage in a week) and keep my pantang. Alhamdulillah, my weight is decreasing to 41 kg after a week the baby was born. But i need to put more weight up to 45 kg. Fifi is now 4.8 kg as she is already 31 days. So, I have no extra time for blogging particularly about my labor. Well to keep the story short and light, I rather put them as follows:

- admitted to the hospital since I'd already overdue
- the baby was breach and there was no sign of giving birth
- the gynae suggested for ECV (pusing baby), I had this experienced with Ammar last 11 years ago, or C-section
- I agreed foe doing the ECV first
- However, the baby turned to the right position, one hour before the ECV procedure, so the gynae suggested for normal, so I was waiting, waiting and waiting.
- The nurses said they noticed a regular contraction on CTG machine, but I didn't felt it (mcm x rasa apa2) and refused for any seluk2 tu.
- so I need to stay one more night at the hospital. If there is no shows or anything, they will do the induction procedure
- that night, I recited the quran as much as I can, did the taubat, hajat as well
- Alhamdulillah, at 4 a.m, there was a sign(blood), so I waited till the next day
- By 8.00 a.m, the gynae said , the cerviks was already 3 and waiting until I feel the contraction. But they already prepare me to labor room at 11.00 a.m
- so, I rang my husband
- mcm xcaya, sbb x rasa sakit, so they sent me to labor room and I refused for the induction and requested for natural birth, and the doctor agreed.
- after 3 p.m, I felt the contraction and was ready to push after half an hour
- Alhamdulillah, fifi out of my body at 3.53 p.m with the help of three nurses and RNM (sbb doctor x sempat)
-to my roommates (wad 4A), congratulations for your baby. She was being my good friend at the hospital. She delivered the baby by C-Section on the same day. She was waiting for a new baby after 12 years. To Che Ayu, take care.

Sufi Hannah Roslli

2011-02-21T01:55:00.000-08:00

Alhamdulillah

Our new baby girl
Sufi Hannah Roslli
DOB: 21012011

Kenapa?

2010-11-26T01:33:00.000-08:00

Don't break my heart? This sentence is easy to say but it is difficult to elaborate. Harap2 nya org yg berkenaan sudi membaca entry nie. Kadang2 kita dah rasa kita dah fully tolerate with everyone but why this person never pleased me at all. Almost 10 years, cuba n cuba nak knowing each other and have a good moment with her. Tergamak dia tolak saya hingga hampir terjatuh. x ingat ke saya nie carry my unborn baby. Alhamdulillah, I was fine but totally hurt...my heart is hurting till now. Kalau dia benci saya pun apalah salah saya mlm tu...yes my children were playing as usual and they were not fighting...I tried ignoring her everytime she was nagging about my kids. Until she came in to the ladies room at our homestay, staring sharp at me and eventually got me out from the room to check on my children. So, as usual I asked the kids for what they had done that make her anger raised high. Off course they were playing with the PSP and the others at the living room said the kids were not naughty. I was confused, then I took my kids to the kitchen and they were scared if I was going to punish them. Of course, I didn't but the little was screaming ...kuat le pulak tu...then she came and pulled my kids to her..mcm nak selamatkan budak2 tu. And pushed towards the wall without sympathy. Saya tak boleh cite lagi...my tears is dripping again.......

Minggu2 yg penat

2010-11-03T20:44:00.000-07:00

The entry title is so dramatic. Today, I will more to rojak2 okay. Ammar has started his new life in primary school this week. I know he is so excited to join the other children at school. Alhamdulillah, his friend in Notts is also in the same class, so there is no doubt he is more frequently communicate in English instead of Malay. Yang penatnya, I need to make sure his white shirt white and sparkle as new including make sure it is well ironed. Tau le kan , kalau my mum nampak her grandson punya baju putih x putih, habislah kena basuh. Sometimes, I wonder mcm mana my mum managed with so clean+white+sparkle baju sekolah eventhough baju tu dah lama. Oklah, my new helper will be under training next month. So, of courselah, I have nominated my mum as the the trainer. Kat sekolah agama dan Quran, Alhamdulillah both sons doing well and Ammar is chosen as the best student. Yelah, I ajar skit je masa kat UK and his Jawi and agama dpt 100%, tak ke heran parents dia. His brother mcm tu le moderate je, tapi we all x expect a good achievement from them sebab budak2 lain tu dah lama belajar but our children are about 2 months at that school. Semoga lebih diberkati dan they can help each other and the other children. I also penat sebab kena ambik dan hantar anak ke sekolah everyday, serve their lunch and dinner. Hello, where is my husband kan?

Dear husband extremely busy le sekarang nie, outstation sana-sini(this part I like it, since I boleh tumpang sama. masa dia keje my children and I pi swimming...splash..splash), seminar Master students diale, pi visit construction site). So, his Miss B tu I le yg bawak, so dah tak nak bawak kete lain dah. Tapi part parking, I'm a bit worried since the parking space in this U is too small and narrow. Tapi yg penting he has paid me with a beautiful garden at our corner yard. IA before I go the conference, the wakaf for minum petang will be fixed. Only one bedroom still not ready to launch to the public yet, we all kena kemas skit aje lagi. I am restricted to lift all the heavy box by my husband, so sakitnya mata tgk bilik tu. Jadi, apa guna ada anak lelaki kalau tak membantu kan, so I told the kids to push the boxex towards me and I opened it and merged anything not really useful. So the view of the room is much better with less boxes.

This weeked and next weekend lagi penat sebab my brother in law naka nikah and the reception for both sides will be organized this weekend and next weekend. Hello guys, could you please buat mana2 patut sendiri because my unborn baby is already 30 weeks plus. If you can't see my tummy as the other pregnant mum but please and do please consider me as a pregnant lady ok.
Alhamdulillah, my boss is already know that I'm pregnant kalau tak dia nak bagi work load. Pelik kan, I met him many times before, mcm mana dia kata dia tak realized that I am pregnant dan dah dekat nak bersalin pun. Inilah kepayahan I. Org balik dr UK boleh naik bdn, I mcm nielah. Makan banyak, but maybe I take a lot of plain and mineral water, so my metabolisme is high kot.

Tgh bersemangat dgr cite my sister, in two weeks maternity leave boleh dpt 100 packs of susu ibu. Okay, mak I pun nak beat ijah lepas nie.....I'm so impressed with you girl.

Now and me

2010-10-26T20:41:00.000-07:00

We moved in to Desiree house last saturday. Ohh..our family still feeling restless and the new house still untidy. We missed our old house and very soon it's not belong to us. The buyer is already applied his bank loan and the lawyer is assigned for the business. Since I 'm already 7 months@28 weeks, my energy is slightly reduced than previous pregnancy. Maybe I'm too old and the gap is around 7 years from my last pregnancy. However, I still managed decorating the boys room and they like it very much in one day. They love the room and appreciate every details about it. But I haven't put the clouds, moon and star yet since I'm still unpacking the boxes. At least the legos are already placed on the modern and simple blue shelves made by the contractor. Thanks Mr. V@contractor for the free shelves. The garden is still empty but much cleaner. Since the time is thight we were thinking about starting the landscape work in two weeks time.My brother in law will having his solemnization end of next week, so the most important thing to do is to make sure the interior part of the house completely done up to our satisfacation before next week. The bed in our bedroom is fitted and the wardrobe and dressing table will be fitted this Friday, Insya'Allah. The second hall upstairs is 80% completed excluded the wall mirror. Mr. V will send his worker to help us fit all the mirror and curtain rods today. Alhamdulillah, everything is free. The most interesting part of the house is my kitchen. All the storage compartment are fitted and decorated from my drawing. Yeah, actually, I would like to be an architect but eventually ended up as engineer...and now as lecturer @ researcher. Alhamdulillah, all the skills as a construction designer is handed down to me from my late abah. I can say, my husband has no touch on the house design and decoration excluded the payment. Back to my kitchen, I have my own reading section, so all the novels and cooking books are placed safely, thus can keep me busy at the kitchen, not for cooking but for reading.
The baby's room is still reserve for future decoration since we kept all the boxes in the room. But the color@ pink orchid is tempting me. I can't wait anymore. But I have to handle it well since my examination day will be very soon, IA. At least, my luggage is already packed and eveready to bring into the hospital. Good things about my future baby, my husband is already accepted the baby name and farhan is always called the same name everytime he is kissing my tummy. Last two days, before he went to sleep, he told my husband for do not make me sad, love me, bless me because he loves me so much and he doen't want to see me having a hurt feeling and restless. Alhamdulillah, his al-quran reading is much better and one thing I never expect from him is how lovely he is when he touched my tummy and recited Al-Fatihah and Al-Asr. He said the Quran recitation will help my baby loves me more and become more clever. Insya'Allah , for this baby I will do the same thing I did to my two boys. Bring the baby to mosque or bring the uztaz@hafiz to house for cuci mulut, keep myself with a strict pantang, cukur the baby hair after 7 days (weight it as gold scale and the money then was given to tabung wakaf) and keep cukur the hair before the baby becomes 2 years old, make sure my husband recite the Al-Mulk 3 times before bedtime and Yassin after subuh, Recite At-Tahaa(1-5) everytime I breastfeed the baby, do the aqiqah(usually I'm not having any cukur jambul because I do think that part is not necessary), in previous, we did small doa selamat and marhaban by invited the uztaz , neighbour and hafiz from the nearby madrasah. Some of the food we sent to the masjid and the imam helped us distributed the food to the qariah member.

Typical me

2010-10-13T02:15:00.000-07:00

I'm still in a mood of hardworking with my baby actively kicking and snookering inside my tummy. Everyday need to visit the construction site @ my house. Alhamdulillah, the contractor have already painted the wall. It was quick since we just proceeded with the color tone and scheme last Saturday. IA, the lightning accessories and fans+ air-con will be fitted very soon this week. So the contractor can install my dream kitchen next week. The landscape decor is more to nature herbs-contemporary design with a small wakaf. Thanks to Mr n Mrs Architects for an economic and free landscape consultation. Last week, our new family member joined us, and her name is Syilai. Her leg is injured and my youngest son wished to keep her. So, everyone agreed. Syilai is still a baby, quite naughty and so darling to RNM. Maybe, they have some similiarity....so furry...opsss sori yea bro.

About my work, I'm so excited to continue my research. So, in a few hours ago, someone offered me to join her group, full equipment is ready for me to explore. So, yeahaa....finally I can stick to my very own interest after 10 years jadi pak sanggup aje.

The boys are already enrolled to the school, but we postponed the registration until next year. For this time being, they are attended islamic study to improve their skills as a muslim. Alhamdulillah, the little one can do his job as muazin. So, ada can kot nak jadi menantu syam+mazrul. But my husband and I are confused now and insisted to send them to International Islamic School like my niece and nephews. So, by end of this weekend we will having an interview for the the enrolment. So, I have to stop now and prepare myself to study all the tajwid, fekah and anything related to Islamic study and life.

Busy

2010-09-23T22:47:00.000-07:00

Alhamdulillah, I had finally met the doctor for my first ever ante natal check up in Jay Bee. After 7 years, I revisited the same O n G clinic. My case was catogorized as new case. Usually new case is for 11 to 14 weeks pregnancy, but once again I created the history with 24 weeks pregnancy. RNM joined me for this check up. Unfortunately, he was urgently rushed back to office for a meeting. Good...so I had a chance pot pet pot pet with the nurses at the clinic. As usual, they keep asking about my small tummy, since I still can put own my baju kurung (size S). But for RNM my tummy is big. Of course, he always see me in skinny figure, now my tummy is look like a small ball. I hope I still can be in this shape until raya haji, so I don't have to buy any new maternity clothes. I still can wear my two inches platform.

Since our first week in this country, RNM is too busy with his career. He went by flight to KL for a meeting with JKR a day after he report his duty to the office. Then starting with a research proposal...I know RNM wish to be busy. Since, there is only one car available for us at this moment, I have to wait until 5.00 p.m before he fetch me back home. We also do trav el form Jay Bee to Muar every weekend to work as health officer at in law's house. We have two patient to assist, MIL and FIL. Do the cleaning, cooking, and me threat myself as a dietration to my MIL. So, since org kuat pantang dah balik, I filter every single food for MIL.

Me, already as a member of research group and now starting working with proposal. We don't really spend our money eating at the stall or restaurant. I prepare my breakfast everyday, do the laundry and serve the dinner for my family. They children reallly enjoy my home cooking, so does RNM. So we are really rare eating outside. I also bring some food for my lunch everyday, so I haven't got a chance to challenge the traffic jam during the lunch hour. So, less pressure, kan.

Our house still under refurbishment, next week our new modern kitchen will be fitted including the false light. IA before raya haji we can move into that new and modern house. Thanks to the contractor, who really understand me. I don't care about that B anymore, it belongs to RNM. IA very soon, my new 4 roda will be purchased by RNM. Yg penting, x perlu bayar monthly installment, my sugar RNM le yg bayar. Terima kasih. nanti I serve you ikan kering, nasi and kicap everyday ok...jgn marah....

I'm not happy

2010-09-16T23:17:00.000-07:00

Life back in Malaysia is not easy. Especially for the boys and me. I have to ignore people who can't accept us as we are. Yeah, the boys can only speak English, and it doesnt meant they too stupid. Everywhere we go and meet our inlaw family clan , the most big issue is how clever and good my boys at school in Nottingham. Okay, I don't want to be so rude, then I told the truth gently and put some sort of telling behind the nice word. But they still don't understand. Are they stupid( the person who asking me)? or...I won't make any mistake with them in future. Shall I tell them, my ammar seated for year 5 exam, which means he took two different exam at once (SAT for year 4 and SAT for year 5). He did a great job in musical orchestra last april in Nottingham. So don't ask me more, bfore my temperature blow out. Thank you to my family escpecialy my mum, my sisters and brothers because they understand me most. Prangggg

Bye2 Notts and our new member is coming

2010-07-23T05:11:00.000-07:00

After nearly 6 yrs, me and my husband struggled with family life and study, and it's time for us to leave this palce called Nottingham. The boys are already grown up, taller and bigger. My life is getting easier with no baby to breastfed anymore, they know to handle themslves in the bathroom, clean and tidy their room. Fill in their tummy with food which they can simply take and put in the microwave. I don't have to bring the push chair and having any headache with the baby and toddler care anymore. I was thinking about having a new baby,perhaps baby girl after finishing my writing and waiting for the big exam. But Allah knows better than me. last three months ago, I determined to do my first ever UPT screen after 7 years, and it was positive. I kept this news as a big secret, I'm quite lucky bcoz even I'm already approaching my 16 weeks pregnancy, ppl hardly see my tummy. Sometimes, this kind of tummy make me feel I'm still not having any womb inside me. After had my first baby scan, I decided to announce this good news to our friends. I text to Mrs NoelStreet and got a called from her. So big bang le..for the entire QMC family (doctor2 pakar cuci dan buang di QMC).Do worry guys, I will look like a pregnant lady once my womb get into 34 weeks. At least, I can wear any baju kebaya or jeans size 8 until 30 weeks. Once again, I conceived another baby during my critical stage of study after AHR.

Insya'Allah this baby will be born in Malaysia...so makcik senang hati....Actually, can't wait to return to Malaysia....cepatle....bye2 notts

Baby khalifah

2010-05-31T02:36:00.000-07:00

Alhamdulillah, earlier April, we were given an oppurtunity to join some other families across UK & Eire in one big family gathering in Southern part of UK. This was the first ever rehlah programme we joined after married last ten years ago. My husband said this will led us to a better paltform in our iman and friendship. I shared a caravan with the other muslimah, including the married women and bachelor women. The most important part that touched me so much is makan dlm talam. My boys experienced this part for the first time in their life and they enjoyed it. No worry my children, ummi will do more group gathering at our house back in Malaysia and you can have another makan dlm talam event. For 4 days n three noghts, we performed the solat in jamaah, whichmeans evryone had a turn to be an imam. It impressed me so much when the bahelor women, I suppose say the undergraduate can remembered their Al-Mathurat well than me. This had put me into another aim to carry on with the Al-Mathurat recitation day and night. We had nice and enjoyable family outdoor trip, which could bring us back to appreciate this life. Ammar enjoyed his mount tracking with the other kids. They were given a list of things they need to observe during their walk. Every single point will reflect the rememberance of Allah. So did Farhan, he joined the small kids for a more shorter mount walk. No more English ryhtm songs but more to Islamic songs which adopted the English skill of learning, for eaxample Baby Khalifah. After dinner, the adult had our talk and discussion session, and one person from Malaysia was invited to give his talk during the camp. Many things I learned from the talk. To my husband, thank you so much for this holiday, perhaps we can have more like this one in future.

Ummi's Journal

2010-05-24T02:49:00.000-07:00

Insya'Allah, a new blogspot of mine will be launched very soon. As I decided earlier of this month, I should stop from fb and YM, hence my horizon of friend network is limited to some consequences. I did deactivated my fb and followed my husband step earlier this year. For those, who can track me on this blog, both of us are not involved in fb anymore.

My new blogspot is KUS_ummi's Journal is specially dedicated to my family. It is included the daily routine of me being an ummi, working with my career and domestic needs at home and within the family. This morning we got a text from a very closed friend. One of our friend is died this morning after her strong survival journey to fight the disease in her body. She has one son. I was thinking if one day, I'm no longer being alive. Perhaps, my journal will inspire my children to move on in their life without me. So they can always feel the existence of me.

Terima kasih En. suami

2010-05-18T04:25:00.000-07:00

Alhamdulillah, after ten years, my husband is now really understand my ambition. It was very critical for two people who are struggled to be a better mate to their spouse after marriage. It happens to us. I didn't know my feeling towards him before the solemnization because I hadn't much time to observe his character. Everything was organized by my parents. The night before I got married to him, I was about to cancel the wedding. I accepted his proposal without knowing or meeting him. So it is not easy for him to know me either. We lived apart after married; I was in K.L and he is commited with his work in JB. We acted as monthly family and I often ignored his call.

well, to fulfill my dream of involving in volunteership scheme is always put us into trouble. I prefer he to enjoy his life with his friend and I can have more time with my scheme. To make the entry short, he is satisfied with our first child adoption application. IA, this baby will be a part of our family and is a good to start for me to adopt more and to serve more children out there. IA this could stop more baby been scrap by their teenager parent.

The boys are really into my dream now. Ammar is getting himself busy with save the world campaign. Farhan is learning to cook, so he can help me in the kitchen. Therefore, we can give food to poor children during recess time in Malaysia. If you would like to join me and my family, pls send me an email to ammar_suhaila@yahoo.com. Hopefully, we can share our knowledge and information to build up our ummah.

simple

2010-05-17T11:19:00.000-07:00

lady look...is not me...I prefer simple but look fresh...
more prefer wearing my tudung (no lilit...n no kelipit2)..shoes type...think about yanky or sporty shoes mix n match with my baju kurung...ha..that was me at uni last 15 yrs ago..and now..I love it...I don't mind spend my money for those skincare(name it...clarins...I feel so cool with it...estee lauder...more vintage look, clinique...so fresh...)...so shall I change? no...I will only use my regatta bag to go to work.., my comfy kickers shoes with white shoes laces + cotton baju kurung . But I definitely can move on with those stuff if I'm ready with my Clarins moisteriser, sandy compact powder..Clarins again ...not with lipstic..I hate lipstic...so much..sorry....
Oh..can't wait to get back to work...in Malaysia

Homeschool and ummi-study

2010-05-04T07:22:00.000-07:00

It is just like my brain divided into two portion of schedule in 24/7 since Farhan was discharged from the hospital. However, It bring me back my memory of my childhood. I spent my times at the hospital and I was bored too. Same goes with farhan. He is definitely can't wait go back to school. Well, I then got an idea to treat his empty school life. I will spend my times with him for homeschooling system after get myslf busy with thesis writing. Usually, I will take 4 hours straight after fajr and tick with Farhan after abah goes to work at 9.00 a.m. My brain is workout too with those maths and science. We usually consumed all the toys and used them as teaching aids. Alhamdulillah, it helps him demolish his empty time. I know I'm not a good candidate as a teacher but my experinece working with voluteership group assits me a lot. Thanks to my sister too for her advice of montessori based homeschool. Her guides is simple.
1. start my day with Quran recitation
2. Follows by Al-mathurat
3. Then start my own study
4. Get myself busy with Farhan
5. Treat him most with Islamic manner at ummi school.
6. have fun with the boys, outdoor etc.well my swim wear will be arrived this week...so ammar is so delighted with my decision to join him at the swimming pool. sorry dear..ummi is only capable with freestyle not like mummy and mak uda who are already coped with their butterfly and aquafit.
7. Do my very own homecook which is simple but can makes my kids amazed of me.
8. Sing the baby kkalifah song to motivate them.
9. Before their bedtime, ask them to remember any simple verse of Quran instead of story time.
10. enjoy my snack before pull my brain back to my study before 11 p.m.

I'd practiced some of those at the hospital when I was young with my mum and thrown them away when I grown up. It's my mistake and I won't let this happen to the kids. So homeschool is doesn't meant you have to be a degree holder to practice them but more on your motherhood life and soul. Think about every moment we consume or fill up with the kids is the journey towards Jannah. Insya'Allah , Allah knows better than us

Are we perfect?

2010-04-29T04:52:00.000-07:00

Dear all,

I was shocked by the tradegy of one teenager was shooted to death by p**I*CE. This is not the first one. If I'm not mistaken, one boy in Kedah 'ate' by this top power machine people in Kedah last three years ago. Sould I used the word 'ate' instead? Typical story, both of them did such a crime..driving without licence. Alhamdulillah, I was not been killed last 12 yrs ago. yeah, off course all teenager..got some conflict due to their attitude and manner. So did I. I used to ride on motorbike without licence and hit a van. Alhamdulillah, Allah pjgkan umur then I should repent. bdk sekolah, university and college tulis surat cinta pun..should we call as crime, not respecting their parent. Alhamdulillah,, part nie...I didn't involved..so I was cleaned without those stupid cinta monyet,,,just ada crime with license.
People out there, do you think yg anak anda semua baik belaka..?
Last 5 yrs ago...someone..who I think such a good ibu le perhaps..scolded my elder son who was 3 yrs old . It was only about my son kept crying. She such a lady who think that she is such a perfect mum..I can understand when I read her blog..Come on..don't judge the children when they areyoung..You can speak wisely, they will unerstand... Try to put this in our mind,,young people need time to develop their confidence. If we have a children and love them..we should love the other children as well. Parent yg x suka expose anak dia punta talent, achievement,,,x semestinya anak dia rubbish..think about this

Ada kebaikan perlu diperlihatkan tapi jgn sampai ia mendatngkan fitnah dan rasa riak..If your children good and behave..just keep your dua on them.

Count down...some maths perhaps

2010-03-25T05:41:00.000-07:00

Alhamdulillah, they are all agreed...so that I should do more packing...writing, editing the correction...before Mekar 2010. Most important thing, to get everything eveready before the FS day and Cthrw(chose and throw) anything that won't dare to be with us in Dessiree Pulai Indah. Mak told me, my baju kurung is already arrived from the tailor. So, I can't wait to visit all the children in orphanage wearing my newly made baju kurung. IA, we will having a small doa selamat and tahlil at the nearest surau or do the makan2 at the orpahanage house. The boys can't wait to see my other children of mine in M'sia. Perhaps, the boys can really have the kampung life adventure there with their new brothers and sisters. IA, will bring my top man to the place he always longing of....for sure we gonna spend two days at the homestay.
Eventhough my day of victory will not come very soon, but on Allah will I strive my best to get it. IA....doa, doa n doa....taubat, taubat, n taubat. So, if anyone is not hearing from me , pls forgive me..I just need more time for my own to find myself. May be I should quote this: I'm looking for the happiness life because of Allah.

thank you Allah

2010-03-18T12:56:00.000-07:00

Thank you for this amazing life
thank you for this wonderful family of mine
thank you for this route of living

Alhamdulillah

Ready or not

2010-02-27T17:46:00.000-08:00

This year is such a challenging time for me and particularly my family. My work is getting harder and is seemed more complicated. I can't predict the future or my life after tomorrow. Maybe there is a chance for me to know myself better. everyone looking for a better life, more sensible memory and definitely dreaming of luxurious and problem solver life. So do I. Am I stiil breathing after I'm fallen asleep tonite? Once in my life before, I was panicked with this no answer question, then it was led me to K. Puspa. Her advise is so simple and meaningfull"If you keep thinking about how your children will be after your death, so there is no answer for that, but if you is trying enogh to feed them with religious study, good attitude and make sure they puttheir first love to Allah, you will feeling better". So let me simplify everything in my mind before it is reaching the avalanche level, so I wont be saturated. Come on...I should be myself..no more split attitude. Why...because I'm still looking to be me because of my believing in Allah, not because to be more more happy ala syok sakan...but not improving of anything as my age getting older...Yeah...maybe...to many x ikhlas thing about me..then my life is not having long lasting happiness....
-don't worry about ur husband will cari lain
-don't worry abour your salary
-don't worry about your wardrobe
-don't worry about bla bla

but I should worry about what about me when someone put me in the hole and leave me alone, and I will only wear such a piece of white sheet, so do you....

Malaysia oh Malaysia

2010-01-05T12:37:00.000-08:00

can't wait...

Sorry dearest friends...for leaving you all ...I'm sooo busy...and hope the song of MAGIKA will make you all run after your meaningful dream of living..tara...

MAGIKA a.k.a Malay movie of Alice in the wonderland

Adakah kau berada di sana
Ku dapat rasa kehadiranmu
Walau hanya di dalam kalbu
Ku merindumu selalu

Pelik juga tapi kupun rasa
Bagai kau berdiri disisiku
Terkenangkan waktu ketika
Berdampingan bersama-sama

Setiap pertemuan
Pasti akan temu detik perpisahan
Walau kini terpisah
Kenangkanlah saat indah
Sebagai penyembuh rindu

Kita tak ditakdirkan bersama
Untuk masa yang lebih lama
Biarpun hanya seketika
Kehadiranmu dirasa..rasa

Setiap pertemuaan
Pasti akan temu detik perpisahan
Walau kini terpisah

Kenangkanlah saat indah sebagai penyembuh rindu
Kenangkanlah saat indah sebagai penyembuh rindu

Me think

2009-12-14T06:06:00.000-08:00

Since the last two weeks ago, I dreamed about the death kept flashed on me. It wasn't me or my family. But, my heart felt undesirable and there was such sad field inside me .

I couldnt help but asked myself- What is this becoming into?. I had this feeling and such nightmare dream since age 16. Usually, after a week, I heard something happened....I talked about this with my ustazah, and she preferred me to enhance the rate of my ibadah...A day before my best friend died in her labor, I kept crying for nothing and dreamed of her. As I admit, I'm not the one who can simply put my tears out. The night before my late abah passed away, I heard people recited the yassin all around my house. Last week, one of our foster brother left this world after his solemnization. I did dreamed of someone dying since two weeks ago and tied my self busy on thinking about my family. I'd been so silent and worried.

One thing, I will never decline that I'm getting older...but I'm not really eveready for all the kindness thing for my life after death. I'm just worrying about my study, career, properties and family, and let them conquered me in 80 %. Thus left the 20% for my preparation. I'm thinking about migrate myself to a new type of life. I can see the same feeling in my husband, he is trying to pull us back to the right route of life. Not ever skipped his Dhuha, and tahajud in every night. We've managed to do our fasting every thursday. Encourage the children about islamic life, not restricted to just knowing doa makan, tidur.etc. but globally clocked to islamic family attitude and life in every angle. Alhamdulillah, my husband finally found someone, who can lead him and us to a better life. More doing our family halaqah. I found one book, that really interest me from muslim author..Mrs Zabrina. Can't wait for it to safely handed into my house, Insya'Allah.

I qoute this word from someone"
Hidup ini penuh dgn cabaran dan kesusahan, jgn jadikan ia satu halagan utk bersedia utk hidup di SANA.

I'm may be seen changed, but I'm still the one who you know before...but will try reducing my LARA habit , so do with my blog. Make doa for me

found my no more secrect doa

2009-12-09T15:14:00.000-08:00

Packing...packing and packing...whilst working towards the day of victory...Insya'Allah....I overlooked the piece of art, slipped inside my old diary. It is a doa written by someone. Yaeh, I copied it long time ago.....In 1999, after my sunat awwabin n my tahajud, I did read this doa...why...I wasn't so desperate to get amrried at that time...ntah x ingat le...too many things need to sort at this moment...However, I just met my husband 4 times before we got married. Our family joined us becasue my father had his own rule..no dating before marry. I accepted my husband proposal to be his wife without seeing or knowing him...Insya'Allah...he is the one in my doa...n I will constantly make this doa in my daily routine
Ya Allah,
Aku berdoa untuk seorang pemuda, yang akan menjadi sebahagian dari hidupku.
Seorang pemuda yang sungguh mencintaiMU lebih dari segala sesuatu.
Seorang pemuda yang akan meletakkanku pada posisi kedua di hatinya setelah Engkau.
Seorang pemuda yang hidup bukan untuk dirinya sendiri tetapi untukMU.
Seorang pemuda yang mempunyai sebuah hati yang sungguh mencintai dan haus akan Engkau
dan memiliki keinginan untuk menauladani sifat-sifat Agung-Mu.

Ya Rabbi,
Demi cintaMu,
Kurniakanlah aku
Seorang pemuda yang mengetahui bagi siapa dan untuk apa ia hidup,
sehingga hidupnya tidaklah sia-sia.
Seorang pemuda yang memiliki hati yang bijak bukan hanya sekedar otak yang cerdas.
Seorang pemuda yang tidak hanya mencintaiku tetapi juga menghormati aku.
Seorang pemuda yang tidak hanya memujaku tetapi dapat juga menasehati ketika aku berbuat salah.
Seorang pemuda yang mencintaiku bukan karena kecantikanku tetapi karena hatiku.
Seorang pemuda yang dapat menjadi sahabat terbaikku dalam tiap waktu dan situasi.
Seorang pemuda yang dapat membuatku merasa sebagai seorang wanita ketika berada disebelahnya.
Seorang pemuda yang membutuhkan dukunganku sebagai peneguhnya.
Seorang pemuda yang membutuhkan doaku untuk kehidupannya.
Seorang pemuda yang membutuhkan senyumanku untuk mengatasi kesedihannya.
Seorang pemuda yang membutuhkan diriku untuk membuat hidupnya menjadi sempurna.

Dan aku juga meminta padaMu Ya Rahim...

Mudahkanlah aku menjadi seorang perempuan yang dapat membuat pemuda itu bangga.
Berikan aku sebuah hati yang sungguh mencintaiMU,
sehingga aku dapat mencintainya dengan cintaMU,
bukan mencintainya dengan sekedar cintaku.
Berikanlah SifatMU yang lembut sehingga kecantikanku datang dariMU bukan dari luar diriku.
Berilah aku tanganMU sehingga aku selalu mampu berdoa untuknya.
Berikanlah aku penglihatanMU sehingga aku dapat melihat banyak hal baik dalam dirinya
dan bukan hal buruk saja.
Berikan aku mulutMU yang penuh dengan kata-kata kebijaksanaanMU
dan pemberi semangat, sehingga aku dapat mendukungnya setiap hari,
dan aku dapat tersenyum padanya setiap pagi.
Dan bilamana akhirnya kami akan bertemu, aku berharap kami berdua dapat mengatakaan
"Betapa besarnya Engkau kerana telah memberikan kepadaku seseorang yang dapat membuat hidupku menjadi sempurna".
Aku mengetahui bahwa Engkau menginginkan kami bertemu pada waktu yang tepat
dan Engkau akan membuat segala sesuatunya indah pada waktu yang Kautentukan.
Amin...

As a muslim lady, I shouldn't love my husband more than my love to Allah
My usrah leader always remind us that

@Jgn sakiti hati kita dgn terlalu mencintai suami kita, tapi berusahalah utk terlalu mencitai Allah kerana rahmat Allah menambahkan kasih sayang dalam rumah tangga, hati terus redha dgn onak duri dlm rumah tangga walau ada yg pahit seperti hempedu

testing lagi

2009-11-19T12:52:00.001-08:00

testing

2009-11-19T12:50:00.001-08:00

Once upon a time

2009-11-15T07:05:00.000-08:00

I discovered kind of treasure today. I'd accidentally found them whilst organsing my folder...To be more prompt, I need to be more organize...so I won't misleading on my route of finishing. I'm longing those moment, and puzzling myself to raise that sweety lesisure moment back in my life... till then, let me enjoy the found treasure (my boys and my man in the house with their talents....in 2006)

of course, my kids terbelit lidah nyanyi lagu rock melayu...anyway, they enjoyed that moment and make me grinned...abah you are rock...camnielah Muar boy....My kids lak you two looked fantastic as Peramu boys

Princess Elord: Prisoner of the Mamak-mee bandung muar Throne

2009-11-12T05:45:00.000-08:00

I definitely will say no if I ever think that me or Princess Elord: Prisoner of the Mamak-mee bandung muar Throne. I am influenced by the book of Princess Masako..the true story of her after she is married to the heir of longest running monarchy empire. Interesting book and you will not believing in Cinderella story anymore, because by marrying to such a charming and loving prince will lead you to unhappily ever after life. So, I'm tied to this book at this moment, as I was addicted to Sophie Kinsella's books. Pls ignore my entry about my dream of having Prince Naruhito as my husband ( masa nie I was just 24 years old and was so tak tau). I'm already married to the heir of the Mamak-mee bandung muar Throne. Bless Masako. Me, myself still can have longer words with my husband, including nagging at him, but not Masako. I won't compare myself with the other commoner excepts the commoner who is having an affair with world wide wanted prince...

Alhamdulillah

2009-11-03T03:17:00.000-08:00

Alhamdulillah,

My meetings ended well with those two omputih. No yelling, no heart feeling and No nagging for me at the very first time as a PhD student. We will going back to M'sia for good next april 2010. However, my study is still around me. I'll think about traveling from JB to Semenyih every week until Oct 2010. Can't wait seeing my families faces and enjoyed the joy of having new sister in-law. Perhaps, my mum will organize a small tahlil and doa selamat, thus we still can get ourselves back to our originality as a Malaysian. Besides, we will looking forward for living in our new house. heart of decorating is around us. New kittens for the kids, maybe shailo and syilai. I'm officially nearly completed my experiments. Early of Dec, can have more hooray time before turn to brain mashing with thesis writing. Anyway, I have my family around me id suddenly I may be delivering my twins..ha ha...Wish me okay.So for the very last eid this year in Notts, I will dialing my sister in-law's mobile, so she can goes around all the malls and jln TAR finding out our new baju raya and post them as soon as possible. No doubt, I won't go to school this coming eid and only spending my raya-ing day at home to enjoy the very last crowd and happiness on celebrating our eid with closed friends and always in our heart friendship. To those are already in M'sia, we will visit you all if we already breathing well in M'sia. Start packaging tonight and keep my self busy with my analysis and writing.

Alhamdulillah,

I'm bored....

2009-09-17T12:12:00.000-07:00

As no one expected...I'm among them try to fulfill the barakah of Ramadhan
Alhamdulillah, I'm so determined to finish it by Syawal night. The best book I ever read before about Ramadhan is Rumah saya di bulan ramadhan...I bought two...one for my late abah and one for me....Tapi abah pergi sebelum sempat nak bagi hadiah tu.
My little sister sent me a message which so ...
" Raya 2001 abah kata next year dia x raya dgn kita, dia raya dlm kubur. he asked us to visit him, yong and fatimah. Betulkan after new Islam calendar, abah pergi"

Dear sis Ijah,
I missed abah too. Everyone of us got his talent. Bila ingat Lat, mesti ingat abah. Watak abah itu hidup forever. the kampung boys somewhere in Perak had spent their childhood full with excitement. Big sis with her business inspired by abah. You with his attitude. Me you all really know kan...kuat berangan to be the future ADUn..chewahhh. I'm actually struggling fulfill his dream kan..Yelah..I'm a bit malas belajar ..so I wasn't so clever and no one enrolled me in boarding school like you all. But abah is never mad with me...because I kan anak manja abah...I know he was so proud with my SRP result. tapi nak buat camno...abah x bagi ambik civil engneering.. so that time I followed his word. May be, kalau I took Civil eng in UTM, my dear BB awal2 lagi x nak kat I. Yelah, with my sports shoes and baju kurung...It was so Ugly beaty. But at that time, there was a shadow infrasonic of my BB...la mcm dalam cite nurkasih tu le..sis..you..ada mimpi abah tak...? You know what, I always open my window middle of the night..perhaps abah is outside of my window...Sis you pasti ingat his word kan

"abah tak dpt nikahkan ijah sbb abah dah tak ada...then you cried. yelah...
Next year our twin brothers nak kahwin. Beb...sedih ahh..I tak boleh balik...I nak tunaikan hajat abah nie....make doa for me...ok

No charge, fasting and sewing

2009-09-11T13:16:00.000-07:00

My youngest boy...did mentioned of joining sewing club...Good and make me wondering about my future life with so adorable clothing, shoes and handbag. Unfortunately, his wish had been rejected . Not me...my husband who felt sewing is such a work for the lembut. Farhan, is always comes out with his unanswered questions and unpredictable dream. He wants to be a doctor because of his monster. I always reminding him about how special he is. Corresponding to his monster...laa. But he also wants to cook for his family. reason dia boleh telan le...because Abah is always does cooking for him. Okaylah..dear...give me another 6 months...you can see how difficult to see abah at the kitchen. Since his big brother nearly completing his challenge (fasting) and will getting his rewards....Farhan is also begging me his rewards...so I turned on youtube...and showed him the advert of No charge..then no more rewards wish from farhan...till then...makcik keje balik....I nak balik M'sia...june nie....Insya'Allah

at least..I'm alive and kicking

2009-09-03T11:06:00.000-07:00

My blog is so silent and gleamy as expected....Well, I have multiseries of task to do...and definitely to complete them. Yeah, that is so determine. Apologies...I've blocked myself from facebook, yahoo chat, phone messaging and anything that can put in such leisuring and playfull. I don't say, those who are facebooking, chatting etc. have no motivation or lazy. But is only me, who can't resolved the situation apart. So, make myself grounded with the fundamental of microscopy, adavnced statistic and so merangkak writing will put me in the dedicated focus. But I'm not sure I can. No one has any hold over me, no one can call me up and demand my presence. This is my time..my only own time heading my degree.uhhh, I can feel muscles twinging with pain all over my body. But I must work, work and work. I give myself six months to finish, to have such breezy life after study, to be more happier ever after, to be in the right track as a mum, to fly back to lovely homeland,and the must do....to conceive my twins, Insya'Allah. The magic word for me, nothing is impossible but keep myself more closer to Allah does fixed my confidence. I've read my friend's blog about 4 weeks ago. She is likes me, struggling and juggling over the study and so undomestics goddess as mum and wife. She puts herself in every second remembering Allah.For example, she have her own style of doa

"Ya, Allah, hari ini saya nak buat lab dengan microscope. Numerical Aperture kecik tapi saya minta dapatlah saya sikit data yg cantik utk statistic analysys saya. Ya, Allah tolong saya. Ya Allah, mudahkan urusan saya dan kuatkan ingatan saya padaMu Ya Allah"

I do implement the same method as her and Alhamdulillah, it's seemed does improved my work and also my ibadah. Dulu lewat solat, malas tahajud...Now, I can feel the difference. As I noticed, I'm always want to fulfill my dream but restrict myself from The Almighty. Any difficulties in life shouldn't demolished our ibadah to negative error bar (this is also statistic) but should rising the count of ibadah towards akhirat. Perhaps, I can practice this new focus of life in obtaining my glory future ever after etc.long lasting attitude.

To all...I do luv you all, longing of our pickled sweety juicy moments. Don't worry I'll come back to facebook, chatting after 6 months. Till then, take care, be happy and doakan I yea...muahhhhh(I will blogging in case updating my situation)

Salam Ramadhan semua

Siang hari kita berpuasa
Malam pula kena cergas beribadat
Kalau sapa buat kuih raya
Bagile kami sikit kuih tart

Sad news

2009-08-13T11:07:00.000-07:00

as my fingers wondering on the keyboard, my mind begins to drift towards a very sad news ..Uztaz Asri has passed away today.Then, there's a frozen pause..my tears slowly dripping over my face..His such a nice man ...I'm afraid that I almost ate my words for blogging...today. because there are 6 young children just losing their wonderful father. I should stop..Al-Fatihah...

http://lydecker86.wordpress.com/2009/08/13/ustaz-asri-selamat-dikebumikan/

MJ...one day in your life

2009-06-26T10:16:00.000-07:00

I just heard about MJ from Mrs Noel Street...His song that is always touch my heart is One day in your life. If true MJ is a Muslim, let us give our Al-Fatihah to him. Everyone make mistake but sometimes they make our day bright with their talent and attitude. I'm saying this ..not because I like most of MJ's song.

One day in your life
You'll remember a place
Someone touching your face
You'll come back and you'll look around YOU

One day in your life
You'll remember the love you found here
You'll remember me somehow
Though you don't need me now
I will stay in your heart
And when things fall apart
You'll remember one day . . .

One day in your life
When you find that you're always waiting
For a love we used to share
Just call my name, and I'll be there

You'll remember me somehow
Though you don't need me now
I will stay in your heart
And when things fall apart
You'll remember one day . . .

One day in your life
When you find that you're always longing
For a love we used to share
Just call my name, and I'll be there

Finally...I'm loud again

2009-06-25T12:01:00.000-07:00

I don't know why I didn't do this before...I did for the last few years before my marriage...now I just couldn't stop all the anger on top of me...after all..Yeah Mrs. Negative and such more likely a horror intellectual lady in the making...honestly, I'm so meant everything about you and your perfectly syndrome down words. Come on...how come this woman still be around me...I don't bother people knowing me or not...because I'm not you and your cikapot's sweetly faces behind their dusty souls. If I knew that time was surprising me...I should wear a feather boa and fly up back home instead of waiting the green bus to come...I hate you soo much...For your information and those cikapots who are desperate waiting me with my bloody nice but so hot spicy ingredients...Now you all can be more breathless with my oversized words...

Firstly...yeah my husband is already passed his viva last year...and I should try whisper it only to you his title now is Amat Mulia Berjasa Dr. Roslli Noor Mohamed . Now you can round the neighbourhood area and tell them I'm really saying this... I can't bare listen to your question in future..how can I kick you out from my world...I will meet you again in such knowledgeable land nearby Temasik in the next two years...As I I stumped into the real world, I have meet such kind of people who just so into you but not even try to be an idiot you...(sorry such non-incredible korek cerita person)..For example because you may be like example thing...for sure you're lecturer..If someone got married and then get pregnant...have you ever ask her or he(adake?) urine test you spec apa? More easier...yealah kalau someone passed his viva...to be nice we congrats him generously..if we can't even put ourselves in relationship with him...just ignore him...ended well right...saya tak suka kau...buat apa nak kisah...so easy...Well..back to you...mrs negative...You the one who started all this battle of shit..I did answered you that he did passed his viva...and why must you tortured me with wondered either he is already submitted his correction or not. I don't even what to know how many pages of his correction otherwise more and more paracetamol buried in my skinny tummy....Let me exhale few word for before I cut the word short. Why you people...like to know what is going wrong with my family...and I'm quite so sure you have a long listing wish to make my husband fail his study..And why must you want react politely!!!! mind about how to make me down..It's too much my dear...the cikapots have dragged my life in caution and be so respectfulness..So..I'm concerned about how good are you in this melted friendly way..Wanna to inform you...that his graduation day on 15 July...so why not come along and have a small jealousy glance look at us....So You can say he is completely graduated and be the penyebar cerita among your cikapot..Yeah Dr Roslli is graduated in gracefully since the last six months...if you want to add into your diary..So was already back to M'sia as a lecturer in Univ of Nottingham M'sia last 4 months ago...and currently busy with such a bundle of work as a part time engineer and does teaching for such a huge class in Civil engineering. You did asked about his wages...yeah...he receives plenty of money every single day...for his honest work but less think about people who is always annoying him..That's enough...if you want more...start prepare your questions before you meet me again...Pray for any shadow to avoid me meet with you....You're in my blacklisted persons..welcome to the group.....

Ammar's birthday trip-part 3

2009-06-16T11:06:00.000-07:00

I won't given up with my blogging. Ummi felt had gone from "potentially" student-parent to a newborn photojournalist in ummi own blog. I should have a life in between to drive my emotion. So, I'm not intended to to give up on blog at least, not for ever. yeah, let move on to what we did and had in Legoland. Our 2nd day, the whole family were tired but still kept up with some sort called energy and spirit. After, had an english breakfast at Premier in hotel, we were ready buckled the seat belts and bb drove down to legoland. It was about 9.30 when we arrived, but peoples were already line up about 200 metre from the entrance. By 10.00 when the park was opened, I pulled the boys hand straight down the hill to Laser raider complex. Alhamdulillah, we were finally got to the 5 minutes waiting area instead of 180 minutes waiting area to enter the laser raider cave. Wow...Indiana Jones...here we come. After collected all the points through the laser game we saw another watery game..blink...blink..another splashed before 10.30 a.m. Fed up with watery game, we throws caution to the winds and challenged the kids with roller coaster rides. Not only one ride but four different rides at Dragon castle. The timing is terrible for me, thus need more time to complete this birthday's trip entry. But more alarm is buzzing on me to stick with the study. Gotta go..

Ammar's birthay trip-Part 2

2009-06-12T03:03:00.001-07:00

Pictures were taken in our 1st day in Legoland....So we walked down into lego world with so much beautiful and technically creatures are built up from lego stuff. This did interest ammar because he is a lego lover...make us wondered how many hours and money have been spent for this modest children and family park....we were not spending our money for a trip to Egypt....Did got ourselves disclosed to the Firaun treasures and historical piramid in Pyramid world.
the kiddos eyes were so bright and huge for the amazing game created with lego. ummi and BB were kept our visions glanced at any watery and silly-child-adult game...not soo good...for the kids..they did think it was a disaster...why not...ummi and bb will become future ultraman-parent-malay in the making....splash-splash....come on...boys

Dear Mrs noel street ..I will add more pics. ok..
back to work ...ummi!!!!!

Ya Allah...Please guide me

2009-06-12T02:48:00.000-07:00

IF i'm bored and feel so long to myself...the nasyid will invoke me from my invisible runaway ummah. begins to look back over my yestertimes left behind with so little work for my jannah mission. My ignorance of being a perfect muslimat is keep bombarded me. Now, I realized that I never make a wrong decision for pursuing this higher rank degree level study because Allah knows the best for me. This is the life route for me to enhance and stimulate my love for Allah. If there is any difficulty in my way to the end of this journey, I should come back to my originality as a Muslim. fulfill the pillar. Why we have to be in this life...because Allah loves us.

Tuhan betapa aku malu atas semua yang Kau beri padahal diriku terlalu sering membuatMU kecewa
entah mungkin karna ku terlena sementara Engkau beri aku kesempatan berulang kali agar aku kembali
dalam fitrahku sebagai manusia untuk menghambakanMU
betapa tak ada apa-apanya aku dihadapanMU
reff:aku ingin mencintaiMU
setulusnya,sebenar-benar aku cinta
dalam do'a dalam ucapan dalam setiap langkahku
aku ingin mendekatiMU selamanya
sehina apapun diriku
kuberharap untuk bertemu denganMU ya Rabbi

He is 8 ...oh nooo...(Birthday trip_part1)

2009-06-08T11:51:00.000-07:00

my boys and pooh(wish to come with us)

the supir and bibik

Well, I hold my big son birthday celebration in Legoland since I was tied to brain-dryer job. Ummi freeze all the pics and partly make-me-smile story, then wished still can attain more x-tra time and definitely an excitement to stick with keyboard, thus straight on with the half-fairy tales entry. why legoland..why not..we got 2 days all inclusive trip package to legoland for 200..yup pound not RM. 3 days + 2 nights accomodation in Premier hotel and two days day out in Legoland. Yeah, two days to stimulate and bring back the parents's mucles due to long walk and nearly marathon game-queue event n' somehow I do think the parent need to pull themselves fresh and quick in picosecond to book the game for the kids. Alhamdulillah, the mission accomplished with 200 pound spent.

Legoland entrance

Ready to stroll down into the park

Ready for another water splashed

Bargain for more watery game..huh...

We safely arrived in Legoland at 10.30 a.m after 2 1/2 hours drive from Robin hood county and blast the joy and never-ending running and walking section up to 7.00 p.m. Me and BB were most enjoyed the water game...but not the kids..well. it was fair since we tried to complement each other and stitched up all the breach with the kids. Love, tears, laugh and bless all reunited, which simply make us grinned all day and night. Pray for more to come for the incoming quartz, Insya'Allah....

getting more dizzy...but we enjoyed it..spin, spin and spin

My elder son birthday was celebrated on 13 April in Englsih breakfast style (included in the package). So he is already 8 years old...oh noo...how time passed by.....He was only 3 when we landed on this Mat saleh's island. No present because his preset is too huge...two days out in Legoland...Behave urself dear, be a generous and soleh man and do remember Allah is the most important thing for you.

We extended the birthday-holiday trip to Windsor Castle in the next day before ended up the holiday trip. Did paused our journey back home by digging all the leftover coins for the carboot sale nearby eton college.

Need to move on with my lazy creepy study ...till then...$%&8#%%%

Opah, encik, mak we and mahamee

2009-05-18T11:19:00.000-07:00

Opah passed away after Maghrib at MakNyah's house in Sri Iskandar on 15 May 2009(Friday). She was buried next to my sister's graveyards(saidatul marina and fatimah)and my abah's graveyard. When she was still alive, she always mentoned that the empty place nect to yong's graveyard is hers. As I noticed, those four person were died on Friday and Friday's night. Al-fatihah

from this moment

2009-04-29T11:41:00.000-07:00

I was pretty sure my dream husband is such an amazing man with good looking features. The most and ever gentle husband prince to me. So, I kept my dream lasted until I met my bb. Not met up him, actually. Everything was such a coincidence event ever happened to me. He has nothing compare to my dream lover but something hit my heart to commit as his wife turned me 360 ,maybe more. I don't really understand. I like Prince William and was always to be his lover and wife....uhhhh. Even , I'd married to bb, I still have William picture in my diary until Ammar exist in our world.Am I cruel??? and I exempted my feeling because of my fairy tale dream. I was delivered uncertain love and shared the life as a wife in the beginning of our marriage. If I wasn't married to Prince William, I expected more to be the Princess of Japan. That's why I have nick name as P.O.J, all my x-coursemates knows that. A bit jealous with Princess Michiko when he got married to Prince Akihito in 1997. My heart was never been touched by anyone, kalau ada pun saja nak glamor...ha..ha.but from that moment bb definitely and fortunately is my husband. Ada gak orang nak kat elord...Even on dias, I was dreamed about my fairy dream. Tu yg x sedar cameraman panggil. Apologies, and I'm telling the truth

FROM THIS MOMENT OUR LIFE HAS BEGUN...AND FOR ME YOU ARE THE ONE!..cheewah...

Kiss from a rose

2009-04-28T12:33:00.000-07:00

Dear my old mates in S...definitely mieza, senah_halfmig, itaz, iza, nisa_halfmig, atie, pidot, pratchai, fong. Enjoy the lyric, think about us back in 1996....

There used to be a greying tower alone on the sea.
You became the light on the dark side of me.
Love remained a drug that's the high and not the pill.
But did you know,
That when it snows,
My eyes become large and
The light that you shine can be seen.
Baby,
I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey.
Ooh,
The more I get of you,
Stranger it feels, yeah.
And now that your rose is in bloom.
A light hits the gloom on the grey.
There is so much a man can tell you,
So much he can say.
You remain,
My power, my pleasure, my pain, baby
To me you're like a growing addiction that I can't deny.
Won't you tell me is that healthy, baby?
But did you know,
That when it snows,
My eyes become large and the light that you shine can be seen.
Baby,
I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey.
Ooh, the more I get of you
Stranger it feels, yeah
Now that your rose is in bloom.
A light hits the gloom on the grey,
I've been kissed by a rose on the grey,
I've been kissed by a rose
I've been kissed by a rose on the grey,
...And if I should fall along the way
I've been kissed by a rose
...been kissed by a rose on the grey.
There is so much a man can tell you,
So much he can say.
You remain
My power, my pleasure, my pain.
To me you're like a growing addiction that I can't deny, yeah
Won't you tell me is that healthy, baby.
But did you know,
That when it snows,
My eyes become large and the light that you shine can be seen.
Baby,
I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey.
Ooh, the more I get of you
Stranger it feels, yeah
Now that your rose is in bloom,
A light hits the gloom on the grey.
Yes I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey
Ooh, the more I get of you
Stranger it feels, yeah
And now that your rose is in bloom
A light hits the gloom on the grey
Now that your rose is in bloom,
A light hits the gloom on the grey.

Its been 7 years, and I still miss him

2009-04-24T12:50:00.000-07:00

he is always in my heart...abah

I can't bare my heart longing of you
Life matters without you is so empty and full of desire
No sweet and charm fatherly smile welcome me back home
No warm and pleased hug from you
No two wise hands to kiss for bless
Just unseated statue rattan rocking chair with untouched books
flip me to think about you
I couldn't celebrate Father's Day with you, even if I wanted to
I couldn't ring you or hear your soothing voice
But believe me, I will always and ever recite the doa for you
Ya Allah, ampun dosa abah, jadikan segala amalanku sebagai pahala buat abah, peliharalah abah di alam barzakh dan pilihlah abah menjadi tetamu syurgamu antara yg terawal
Al-Fatihah to my abah, my best mate, and my engineer who was engineered my career and attitude

Tq..dear

2009-04-20T13:14:00.000-07:00

He booked it...he showed it...he satisfied with it...
He said it is mine...to the gift in his life....he is not really sure because I'm not a flower lover...not really hit by jewelery...but he knows I'm a big fan of Motorbike. yeah...I still keep safe my huge ever poster of my dream motorbike...I do like about engine stuff..I did all the car services by my own before I got mARRIED TO HIM. Then be so lazy since apa guna ada laki...let him do....forget about bearing, allignment(satu pau..3 paku)..spark plugs...coolant..engine valve..pin cable..brake pad, trim air cond

Thank you..dear...can't wait to see my hay ri er 4 bald foots to come. Jinggling nona....

Auntie Anne

2009-04-15T12:12:00.000-07:00

As I did mentioned in my previous entry several months ago about auntie Anne. Nope, I shouldn't call her auntie Anne. She is tall, mother of two, book lover, single mother, grandmother and cleaner. I first met her in NTU. She was a senior cleaner in BOots Library, NTU. I was thinking about she was the witch when I first met her. She never had any conversation with me for nearly a month. But it was not bothered me.Who care as long as I can keep make money, everything is seemed alright somewhere. As a cleaner at the library,my daily duty was surrounding with books, journals, magazines and all the knowlegable stuffs which did paused my cleaning. Sometimes, 2 minutes, sometimes 1/2 hour. One day, when I was like daydreamed with one amazing book behind the bookshelf, someone shouted at me. Padan muka I. Auntie Anne shouted and nagged at me. Blessed me. 10 minutes before we went back home, she called me to the pantry. She then, talked gently to me and hugged me. She likes people who love reading. We chatted about book's author and she did asked me to stop from reading all the fairy tales story books written by Danielle Steel, Judith Mc NAught, Audrey Howard, Virginia Andrews. Those storyteller books will make me always dreamed for a pleasant life. She said I must read the fact. Well, I realised now what she said is true. Now and forever, Insya'Allah I more often read all the murderer story, the legal case story from different author and it makes my think grown up.

sue, la, elord, ummi and mak yang, mak yong

2009-04-15T11:41:00.000-07:00

sue....such a name that make me likely as a girl with full of honour, sweet, softspoken, talented but skillless and to be honest I'm not really keen about having this nick name on me. It's not really me...But mil still call me Sue. Well, she is exempted but not the others. Off course she's my mak mertua. Alright mak, only you can call me Sue because you care about me, luv me and let your son married me...he he..he..

la... Most people call me la. My mak, my late abah, my siblings, my friends. I more prefer people surrounding me call me, la. Including my husband. I have no doubt on anyone who called me la.

elord... not everyone is allowed to call me elord...only for those who are really close to me, e.g soulmate.

ummi....I wish this title is not for my own kids(biological children)...I always dream being an ummi to every chidren

mak yang...is only for my nephews and nieces from my family

mak yong...is only for my nephews and nieces from my in law family

April Full not April fool for me

2009-04-09T12:39:00.000-07:00

April is such a month that I shouldn't ignore. I got my first job after graduated in April. My big sister got engaged with her husband in April. I went to SLAB course in April but not the same April. My husband started admiring me in April...he..he...(and again not the same April. I just noticed about him around september, so it's not included as a memorable event. Ta..tarat ara....we got married in April and most of my friends, clan and siblings called it as cinta gila. I didn't know him much and proceeded being a his wife. I felt that too..am I crazy but Alhamdulillah, I'd proved my marriage is not cinta gila because my first son was born in April. He brought all his parents love and Allah bless in his world. Nevertheless, in the same day, same month, I was honoured with MSc. My first honeymoon with my husband after 4 years got married in April. Such a month for me and so do my family. My mak's birthday also in April. I think I conceived the little Farhan in April. Can't ait our Jubli Perak anniversary in April next year..not this year....Shall I request a big present my dear, I want Chubby Be My Wife (5.20) okay lah. In addition, Please find me the dark blue or metallic black. You know, I like Black. Alhamdulillah...

Sis Faezah's birthday...

2009-04-09T12:34:00.000-07:00

Just realized about her birthday today..when the day getting to the dawn...You know me right....Wish you a good prosper life with bless from Allah....Take care

Dapatkan Mesej Bergambar di Sini

luv you till Jannah

Count down

2009-03-26T14:11:00.000-07:00

angin pantai
dingin mencegkam
ombak laut
mengajak pulang

disini kurindu
kampung halaman
yang lama kutinggalkan

betapa indahnya negeri orang
tak seindah tanah tumpah darahku
wajah sanak saudara yang tercinta
bermain di mataku di kala sepi

sawah ladang dan pohon nyiur
dengarkanlah jeritan hati
kuingin nyatakan...
aku sering merindu belaianmu
aku sering merindu kasihmu

I'm not a poetry girl, so believe me this is not my poem. Just the song lyric from Alleycats. I like this song since I was 18 years old...I did turned the radio volume loud whenever I heard this song played on radio. Off course I was so homesick at that time. I was quite frequent went back home to BG when I was studied in UTM KL.
Make the entry short, I missed Malaysia so much. Insya'Allah, I will going back to Malaysia for good and will celebrating my raya haji end of next year...hooray..

ta tarat taraaa..tension bebbbb

2009-03-25T14:00:00.000-07:00

What's up !!!!Feel so bored . You know what, they keep pushing to work like no one on earth....Are they bullying me....real time imaging kononnn. ?????

fullstop

Lets enjoy this song....aiyaa..boleh ke I pinjam ayat nie...well, last week I watched telemovie online about Andai ku tahu. There is a similarity between the heroin and me...ahhh...beautiful. Some sort of it...ke...ke.ke..Her skinny body..yes that the one but not actually all about her in physically corresponds to me..but...a big but...about the script...

husband: Sepanjang kita kenal, ju x pernah cakap I love you kat abang...(wow, it's really me..)

wife: muka selamba and looked so difficult to say I love you abang( I can see typical me on her)

husband: sian abg, kempunan nak dgr ju cakap I love you...
wife: was trying so hard..and said I love you abang, eventually. The wife was died at the end of the story.

Back to me. Since I got married to RMN, I realized that, my husband is so romantic (muka mmg garang). He says I love you to me more than thousands and none from me to him. I feel so geli to say I love you. The first time I called him abang, I was nearly nak termuntah...please...
ish kenapa le susah sgt nak cakap...heee uuuuu...enjoy the song...my dear.. I know why your soul so tune to alleycats

Senyumlah Kembali - Alleycats

when the other half is away-day 5

2009-03-19T04:59:00.000-07:00

I can't stick to my schedule, I guess. I left my blog two days from any update. I don't want to blame myself. It's not my fault and I'm so seriously busy beebies at this moment. Household management goes fine but the kids tantrums is bullying me. As usual, the little one give most head ache to me and the elder just need more pamper from ummi. It keeps me dizzy, a bit exhausted and sleepless. They come to sleep with me since RMN left the house for a new money matter job. Every day, my routine is rolled on and on until I put my head right upon the pillow for a short nap. Yesterday, I did started the car engine to warm up the engine with the cold weather at the end of March. can't accept it. Unfortunately, I can't lock the door and I was almost late sending the kids to breakfast club. What was the matter? I tried emerged myself and it was useless and pointless. Stopped everyone who walked down the street for a mercy but I was unlucky . Rang a few friends number for the last hope. No one picked up the call just right too early in this cold breezy temperature. Ran out with the kids with 5 minutes left to catch the bus and dropped the keys in Mrs. Noel street's house. Wish that his husband will wake up and ring me back. Kissed the kids and right after that I was aboard on the green bus(L12). Alhamdulillah, Mrs. Noel Street's husband called me back and the car doors then was locked. The early trouble episode was ended.

Nothing much to tell about school work...just felt so sleepy.

At night, just cooked the chicken soup for our dinner. The kids had spent their extra time before sleep in organized and dictated by the power man in the house. Who else? It's me because I'm the ummi. Shall I be more loud?

BTw, I'm really delighted to hear the tunes from Yuna. It's soothing my ears. Well, my dear..if you can find this girl album...please buy it for me...It's an Indie rythm and feel that I'm 20 years young. Mieza..without you I never knew this girl, she is great. Now I know, why my little sister like Indie's songs and I'm telling you what, it got the ummph...Meet Uncle Hussien song please

Will put few pictures in the next entry , Insya'Allah

When the other half is away-day2

2009-03-16T15:03:00.000-07:00

I'm pulling myself to manage the household, the kids, parent evening, after school club fee payment, the simulation, the writing, getting prepared for the meeting tomorrow, all in a row on this restriction 24 hours day. Awoke from my nap just about 5.00 a.m. Did my subuh and rushed to the kitchen and boiled the water. Just left the kitchen after put the frozen poultry in the microwave then had my quick warm shower, I was pretty sure I did the simple breakfast for the kids. Then, this part was the most hard task for me. I can't bare put my anger away when I tried to awake farhan. But...at last I had behaved well with him. I do think he enjoyed it and not felt upset with me. He broke his own record today. He dressed up in 10 minutes and ran downstairs for breakfast. By 7.45, we rolled down to Scotholme and I dropped them safely at breakfast club. After 5 minutes, I was aboard in the bus straight to UoN. worked till 12.45 p.m and the simulation was running for 2 hours. Had my very first meal today...banana and nasi goreng. Alhamdulillah, the simulation went well. Decent work. I did parallel tasks today, writing the chapter 5 and did the simulation. By 2.35 p.m, walked down to bus stop and went to parent evening. Spent nearly 2 hours at scotholme but it was released since the children did well in their study. Alhamdulillah, AHR result does impressed his teachers and scotholme. So does Farhan but he needs to work hard. Well, I'm not going to put any pressure on my kids. Just keep my eyes on them and make the daily life routine as a learning and teaching train. The kids had the dinner which I prepared in 20 minutes. When they done having their dinner, I sent them to Mrs. Battlemen's house. Got some energy stepped up in Greenfields and paid the fee for this week and ran after the clock to the bus stop. Once again, aboard on L12 to UoN. Alhamdulillah, the simulation is fascinated me. I spent 2 days figured out the simulation. At least, it worked. Struggled on extracting another data. After 2 hours, everything ready to be simulated and I left it on Allah will. Put the ver last sentence on the chapter and packed my things. Did left the desk so untidy and it doesn't matter me. Locked the door and disalarmed my card and ran down the hill for orange link 35. Just on time and I was safely ride on 35 to city. Waited for minutes after I stopped at trinity square, the tram came. It was such a released. Knocked my friends house and picked the kids back home. Emptied the bin whilst the children performed Isha. Make the toast bread for rumbling tummies. We ate hungrily and went upstairs. Gave some time for the kids enjoyed watching the tv and I performed my Isha. Continued with Ammar's quran recitation then locked the door. ANd now updating my blog, so that my dearest RMN can read it and realize how busy I am and I'm sinking my dear....till then ich leibe dich

such a roller coaster period

2009-03-01T12:41:00.000-08:00

I'm getting knackered all day round and believe me it will on and on until 23 rd March. Thus, I'll may absence from blogging. Till then...wish me luck and do pray for my glory day,Insya'Allah

Friends

2009-02-12T04:47:00.000-08:00

Just realized how anti-social I am...but why..So, seemed my simulation results were so reluctant...let me dream of my sweet time with my friends...? friends...ada ke org nak kawan ngan I nie...such a weird person...Allah knows about it...Even my friends not that many..but there are very pleased with me and sincerely love me including my character..more or less perhaps..Thank you guys

To:
Mrs. Moi(Izreen), Mrs. Noelstreet(Faizah), Mrs. Roses(Imi), Mrs. Purify(Sham), Mrs. Supercook(Zahra), Mrs. Battleman(Wati), Pearl, Audrey, Mrs. Reverend(lost contact), Mieza, Ina, Pidot, Nisa', leloq, wen zue, 3R, noor(already passed away 8 yrs ago)..., Kar wei, Su san

I luv you all...I can see the world of friend as being your friend.

I love my W701i

2009-02-09T10:50:00.000-08:00

Why I luv my mobile?
because I can see snow

My boy as the model for my latest story book cover: Title: Lost by Alia Husbin Itisaak
because it brings the wonderful earth to me

It helps me being so close to my mak in every second

it also makes me feel so dear to them

The End

He owned his dream

2009-02-07T12:53:00.000-08:00

I wrote about rnm viva day in previous entry....Since the day he had passed his viva, the ummi in the house was so pretty busy-messy-study. Added with another coincidence clumsy-silly event, make me so lazy-daisy. Now, after triggered my passion of blogging up to avalanche, it seemed I'm already typed some brainy words..

I was unbearably ignored the tick of the time at that day. I knew he got into the viva exam around 10.30 a.m. Like kept on busy with my lab work could clutched me out from thinking of rhr. Typically, not at first. An mercy idea floated in my head...guess what...I rang my sv...asked for an urgent meeting.Got it..Put some conversation on phone with mrs noel street did cleared my nervous. the meeting dragged me on confused topic for about two hours. At least, my head was frozen from the viva story.

After 1 p.m, my mobile was vibrating and the news overwhelmed me. Rmn won his day. Invited him for a coffee break in Coates. There we went with mixed feeling, I reckoned. Alhamdulillah, his very long journey already ended.

Rmn dialed up his abah mobile

I'm quite sure his abah felt more released from his illness with his son achievement. Abah with half of his body is paralysed always pray for his son happiness. my mil is the strongest lady behind rmn glorious day. Thank you mak
Any way, the coffees were so sedap ari tu...kan my dear..It was my pleasure.

My treasures

2009-01-27T11:47:00.000-08:00

I can no longer hear my voices, so am I little too lost.....why I'm saying this..I felt that my study passion is getting less. Counting down the day I'll be back home to m'sia...sapa x nak...Instead of feeling gloomy ...I'm excited to welcome more oldies friends adding me up in facebook. Bitter sweet memories blinking all around..get back to ala dongeng stories reading like what Ina said in her blog...yup....missed that too girl.....wow, pidot n' you did amazed me....still keep it up with danielle steel.....well i turned 360 degree though....since auntie anne did convince me read more about law and murder stories..who is anne?...more detail and unhidden capture about her in next entry...perhaps...I'm a bit book hunting thru carboot sales and amazon...After 4 years....my collection grew and grew....nearly hundreds with 40 percent reading mission accomplished....started with danielle steel of course....getting very close to audery howard...virgia andrews(due to my sister interest-I did put some collection of this haru biru family stories for my little sister..ain) barbara taylor bradford....the most important thing...I found an old Heidi book in carboot...guess what...it is the earlier version printed...lucky me....now the collection look forward buying more john katzenbach's books....Welll.it's like a tour de book reading is coming.....

my mak is nagging on me about all the old books...my sisters and my treasures kan...byk sgt....she is wondering if she can throw them away....the answer is nooooo....No worry...mak I'd already purchased my comelion side board....so I'll bring my treasures and leave my sisters treasures behind...put them neat and tidy in my home sweet home side board.....

But the best ever book I have is the family in the farm....abah bought this book for my late sister Saidatul Marina...when I found this book in abah's study desk...I fallen in love onto it....

And now I dunno why I like this song..even many people talking about the singer odd attitude...I just like the song yeah...

Alhamdulillah...well done dh- part2

2009-01-08T13:38:00.001-08:00

Since, I'm tied with my typical timetable, than ended up with my lazy daisy attitude, my dhr viva result not pretty well wished . Yup, my dhr, is already" masak" with his wife. Not expecting a very warm and romantic word from me....He knows me better and at least he does shower me with his care.....I just couldn't say that is his love...because my true love is only for Allah. Dear dhr, I do really wanna wish you "well done" for your PhD....you are born to be a graduated PhD holder. May this encourage you to move on your work with more bless from Allah and do more charity for the entire world. Thank you for cherish me with your care and restu as a husband and thq for giving amr, rhr and me a new shiny, brainy life. May Allah bless us with more lovely life till Jannah

for my dh....well done-PART 1

2009-01-08T13:32:00.000-08:00

2009-01-08T13:24:00.001-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chVxBIdXFXw

scooby doo and the alien invaders

2008-12-08T10:10:00.000-08:00

A cosmic case of UFOs.intergalactic intrigue and out-of-this-world romance launches scooby.shaggy and the mystery. inc. kids into their most unearthly adventure ever.stranded in a remote desert town, the gang soon discovers the place is crawling with flying-sauser buffs, sercretive scientists...and less-than-friendly extraterrestrils.Then, after being chased by aliens and beamed aboard a UFO, something even weirder happens to shaggy and scooby-they fall head-over-heels in love.As clues to the mystery of the alien invaders lead them from a top-secret goverment research base to a huge network of caves hidden under the town, our love-struck heroes join therest of the gang in a race to crack a case that redefines the term far out.

written by ammar

after 8 years

2008-10-24T04:39:00.000-07:00

well, I never dreamed to get married and have my very own sons clinging me around....
After 8 years++++, here they are..the boys...farhan and ammar....

About me in 8 years plus as an ummi and wife:
1. Unsure about my feeling sometimes being mum and wife in the house, respectively.
2. Think I am the bossy wife but very rare to conclude it. Yeah, I will keep my mouth nagging over mr. in the house if the red flag is raising high.
3. More childish than the boys when no one realized it. Dancing and hopping with farhan like a teletubbies stuff.
4. Quite often, create new terminology in uncertain event, e.g. syilainai, chocok lokmo, pontako and many more. And for sure, the youngest boy do remember it well and tie me up sometimes with an explanation on his ummi thesaurus. Shall I call it fussbonster thesaurus. fussbonster was my childhood imaginary friend.
5.Always dream a cup of coffee for my weekend before the trouble makers awake. till now, still not having any..since I keep dozing on the sofa instead of knock up the kitchen stuff.
6.Not that good to pursue my Phd study but I called it as rewards from Allah. Now, I don't really sure how can I end up this study.
7.skinny...I was fat in my old day times (50kg).It a must since I was practiced my taekwando at that time.
8. Perhaps, one day, I can get my own painting room with big canvas to paint anything.

at least, I make a good start talking about me..hee...hee..No story to tell..beb

Parent's evening

2008-10-21T13:39:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I did spent my very first time after back to school last 2 years ago for parent's evening in scotholme school. My boys were delighted and warmed to welcome me to their school. I still remembered two pairs sparkled eyes and speechless mouths seeing me in the school.

luv you boys

Shall I call today as unhappy day

2008-10-16T02:42:00.000-07:00

I haven't come across with this unpleasant moment like today. Why today? The time fly away so soon. It's nearly incapacitate me of on going do the experiment. I still can see it was blinked yesterday for a good start however it seems dying now. I did awake him up to dash for the glorious moment but my firm stroke on him make my tears drop. Come on baby.....you should come with me....we've been together for almost three years, how could you do this to me.....

I'm just lost in my own planet where there are only "my pet" and me living in there. Shall I put more power on you to wake you up? Nop....

It's all about my day with dying CMOS....

enjoy their pics...I know what u snapped last Syawal

2008-10-02T09:29:00.001-07:00

5th Syawal in Nottingham

2008-10-02T05:06:00.000-07:00

Salam all,

To summarise everything , I had a really good time really appreciate the hospitality shown by moi and mrs. noel st .I wanna personally thank everyone that actually came to our open house even phsically I was not among the other 2 hostees tiredly and non-stopped accomodating our guests for this Syawal. By stood straight pampering my experiment in 8th floor tower building, I did excited to make a move back home and join the others. and eventually I remained in the lab up to 5 p.m....yeah, with a starving rumbling tummy , I entered mrs. noel st and ate what so ever foods on the table....yum yum....at least raya le jugak

for our family, this raya is our fifth syawal in UK...blessed my youngest boy since he hasn't get a chance to celebrate eid in M'sia. Insya'Allah, he will in 2011.

I was lucky since my dishes for the open house were ayam goreng and nasi impit..easy job then...put the nasi impit in the boiled pan for a few hours....not that difficult...and my syilainai.choco fried the chicken...well, we spent the extra time completed out quran recitation and did the takbir in the middle of the night b4 1 Syawal.

I can't stop my tears blushed my face, not bcoz I can't celebrate eid with our family in M'sia but I'm not fully utilized this Ramadhan where the month my abah roh can visit his family and Allah pursue us with rahmat. My mak often reminding us to clean and decorate the house during Ramadhan to welcome all the malaikat to our house and shining the house with frequent and incremental amalan, instead.

Pray for still have another chance for the next Ramadhan, Insya'Allah.

Later that Syawal night, I did joined the others to preggy mum's house. She amazed me with her home made eid cookies. Well done my dear, and also moi, mrs battleman, mrs noel st for lemak berkrim cookies...even i didn't ate them but the outer look tells everything.

for my family in M'sia, i really luv you all, mak take care and sampaikan salam rindu la pd arwah abah yea whenever you all visit him. mak, i will keep my promise to keep teaching ammar n adik about solat, puasa , quran recitation and akhlak as what abah and mak taught us.

to my family in law, abah n' mak....be strong n' i will make sure your son and grandsons healthty and glorious happy. enjoy ur eid with the little trouble maker, zakuan but heartbreaking baby...he's cute.

Abah

2008-09-23T13:12:00.000-07:00

Eid is coming... fast and furious, I keep telling myself, it's already last 10 days..make full use of it...cos if this is your last Ramadhan, than you are the biggest loser cos you didnt make full use of the blessings given in this month.

Sometimes in the middle of the night, I just couldn't bare missing my late abah....Abah, I love u. No one in the world can be like you. As Kak yan said, she was just can'y stopped the tears wetting her face whenever she had been in Cempaka ward,IJN visited her illness friend.

Abah, I had been speechless and tearfull when I visited you grave and I felt that you were there seeing me. Abah, kami semua rindu abah. .....rindukan suasana Ramadhan with u Abah. Our terawih and sahur time just like empty without you.

Ya, Allah. Ampunkan dosa Abah, lapangkan kubur abah dan tempatkan Abah bersama umat yg beriman.Amin.

welcome back n' elecronicless composing myself

2008-09-21T13:18:00.000-07:00

It's approaching a month our family came back to Notts . Yeah, I do prefer to stay in M'sia if I could. But, I'm still have to commit with my study so there is no other option somewhere.

I was thinking, my brain just can't encounter too many thing in one spike. I couldn't beleive that I can't even remember my password to blogging. unfortunated elot...To be honest, I most frequently do my daily journal in hadithuna...and I am very very seldom to blogging in blogspot.

Machine is machine, we create them so we should can mend them..Why not...As Aldous Huxley said...." there is no virtue in not kowing what can be known"...In a time that is even faster than the slug time...I did managed to launch my new blogspot.....Check it out....

Till next time.....I wish u all" TAQABBALLAHU MINNAA WA MINKA"

Perhaps I still got time to qhatam my quran recitation this Ramadhan. Go elot go.....

2008-09-20T01:06:00.000-07:00

yhjkjlkkll

welcome back_ummi

2008-09-20T00:34:00.000-07:00

Hi there,

Just because I did accidentally forgotten my password, I definitely lost my blog. Well, machine is just a machine...we mend them and create them. So, now here I launch my new blog. Perhaps, I won't overlooked my password in future.

I also have another journal in hadithhuna which is I frequently use to write my daily dairy. after spent a month in Malaysia n' didn't keep in touch with the other blog....I presumed I'm getting older thus my brain doesn't work to encounter too many task...perhaps...I'm wrong.

Till then, keep visiting my blog okay

33 I am....no....I'm 12 ever

2008-07-23T05:17:00.000-07:00

syilainai.chocok just celebrated his grand 34 birthday but all alone. No wrapped gift on the bed, no sweet whispered wish from me. Blessed him....I just couldn't grasped why I did missed all this really, really big event for him..Sorry my dear, if I could bring the day back...I will pull myself to orchestrate the most lovely party for you with two special guests..who else..our kids....Silly me..just after 3 days..it was like a spike...I knew I was terribly and accidentally ignoring you.

Well, my days was around....just a week after...I did overlooked my very own 33. Nop....I never pretending and it's really me....Should I call it the dilemma of a studying wife. I felt I have failed him as a wife. And this pisses me off. I always tell myself to prioritize,no chance since striking that right balance is difficult. And I hate not being able to master this.

But as I am...., I do believe....there is still a reserve love between us. Why?? The day we both went and running thru, telling us something goes right somewhere. I'm seemed healing myself from feeling guilty....
Eventually, I got a very huge and memorable gift from the other half(syilanai.chocok).....guess what...I did submitted my paper for silicon valley conference in US...Perhaps, Allah blessed us and gives more "rezeki" to us...so the whole family can celebrate our birthday in California next year even nearly 6 months away from exact date....Insya'Allah

Yeah...let the "1" and "2"= 12 remain as my age ever and ever.....hippppp hooray....

Syilainai.bibio deserved his sleeping bag

2008-07-08T05:24:00.000-07:00

The pressure of doing my studies and being a full-time mother can be intense at times. syilainai.popoyo has few teeny-confrontations about his lacking of attention from me since I started updating my x-periments results last 3 weeks ago. Yeahhhh....Already, he is competing his skin structure with syilainai.bibio's skin where attention is concern ...and now, with more than thousand xperiment loads, his is pretending his skin gets even a lil' bit rash. Blessed him....he's just want his ummi back. Pamper him with lots of emotion lotion...perhaps.

I always believe in life-long learning. It adds value to a person's intellectuality as well as keeping the brain active and function well. To be wife or mother, or sister or friend is not just stay @ home doing the basic traditional wife role. To attain such level as an amazing mum to ur children, we need to think beyond our readymade bound...do bring the happiness and glory to ur career will also simulating ur brain in nurturing the family

So... why am I feeling guilty when Syilainai.popoyo start interrogating??? Why cant I be firm and explain the significance of the whole thing to him? Betul tak? its only 2.5 years more for my study, Insya Allah. but at least I know that my habibi syilainai.choco is behind me all the way.

After a week without upset tummy...Syilainai.bibio brought back home the most curing treatment for me....His school performance is so adorable ...Mrs. Hawkins told us , he is one of the school asset ..Alhamdulillah....Thanks for Syilanai.choco ,Mr n' Mrs. Noel St, Moi, Fieshya, Mahe, Nurul, Hajar,Yati, Nik, Aisha, Mr. n Mrs. Battleman n the others because you all always supporting and helping. So...he deserved his very own sleeping bag "Dr. Who" just right at his leg last Saturday.

Thanks for understanding how important this is to me. Thanks for helping to take care of the kids. Thanks for eating whatsoever food on the table. And most importantly, thanks for your doa. May Allah bless upon our decision and help us through during this challenging times, Ameen. Also, may Allah bring us more good years together too, Insya Allah.

Life is such a pleasant route somehow if......

2008-06-23T05:26:00.000-07:00

Since last monday, syilainai_ummi has been struggled with huge motivated soul in producing an essential result from ummiing experiment. What such a tighty time frame for syilainai_ummi..since our break to M'sia in just a month time. syilainai_ummi is not really keen when syilainai_popoyo and syilainai_bibio frequently asking syilainai_ummi that they're really want syilainai_ummi bake the cup cakes form them. Syilainai_ummi is not really has proper meals everyday and every meals instead. Ya'Allah, please bless me in my life and I couldn't be a perfect ummi and wiffy without your help. Sometimes, I do realized how can I cope with all the ummiing, stuying, wiffying, daugthering and sistering in 24/7 and perhaps I'm not really want to observe it now...may be later after I finally graduate...Insya'Allah.

A bit jealous with syialinai_chocok due he still can stay throughout all night with his studying stuff. I thought syilainai_ummi is suppose to do that. But syilainai_ummi is such a lazier tired ummi after spending nearly 7 hours running my lovely test at skoll and grabbing with all the housework.. and syilainai_popoyo too. So after some negotiation ( and give some concern on my healty !!!), I decided to put all the doa...let Allah make the better route for me( the benefit of usaha n' tawakkal).

It turned out well, Alhamdulillah. My result is encouraging..sometimes we never realized that Bismillahirahmanirrahim is not only a wish/doa but such a miracle word from Allah to us !!!

Apart of this wellbeing story, syilainai_ummi still thinking about my family future??? Insya'Allah, I'll try my best on Allah will to secure the gift from HIM(my life, syilainai_chocok, syilainai_popoyo and syilainai_bibio) in achieving nearly perfect ummiing, nannying, wiffying and studenting....

So to show my displeasure over thepast, I buried it to nowhere... remain the peace and only strong iman conquer myself.